The Distance Between Two Stars
by Kane Lam
Summary: Liara and Shepard find themselves torn apart by death and distance. Two people who found comfort and meaning in each other now find that war has changed them. Will they reawaken old passions or be forever seperated by shadow and fire?
1. Chapter 1

_Victoria Shepard saved the Asari explorer Liara T'Soni during her first missions to stop the rogue SPECTRE Saren. In time, the young Asari's insight on the Protheans turned into a keen interest in Shepard herself._

_Yet, with war ever present and the foreboding that something worse was on the horizon, it seemed as if destiny would leave them little time to explore such feelings. Despite this, before their final confrontation on Illos and the Citadel, they consummated their feelings and carved for themselves some measure of comfort and even love in a Galaxy that seemed doomed to end. _

_Now, two years and one resurrection later, Shepard finds herself drawn back from the void of death and once again on a relentless course to face another danger._

_War may be the background, but this tale is not about that. This is about two people who were in love, who now find themselves strangers in many ways. A love conceived in fire may yet not survive the shadows of doubt that linger when people grow apart…_

Victoria Shepard was departing from her daily ritual. Usually, her idea of preparation involved a quick shower, antiperspirant, and ensuring her teeth were brushed. As a soldier, she had little use for primping and as a commander she could not afford to appear vain among her squad mates.

Today was different though.

From the moment she was woken from a deep sleep, death she later learned, with pains, surgical scars, and a complete lack of direction, she had been on the run. Do this mission Shepard, can you help me with this, defeat this person, save this one, and destroy that base…

It was endless, relentless the demands placed upon her. She had not even a second to be introspective about the fact she had been DEAD, physically, mentally, and by any clinical definition. Even so, she had one thought when her eyes opened on that strange day on a Cerberus station and she had kept it close to her, giving her a silent strength.

Today was definitely different. She looked at herself in the mirror, running her fingers through her hair. She had paid such little attention to it that now she was at a loss for how best to tame its wildness. She had been struggling for some time to restore some semblance of her feminine nature and had even, in cloak and dagger secrecy, asked Miranda Lawson for make-up. Human company, especially females she could trust, was rare on her ship so she could use any help she could get.

Looking at herself one last time, running her fingers down her shined armor and then giving herself one last smell check she strode out from her quarters. She had looked forward to what was ahead for so long. Illium held more than just economic glory to her, it was a planet with a different kind of treasure. Liara was there and for the first time in two years she would see her face in person and not in strained memories.

She was beyond excited.

**Illium**

"Looks like someone has a date," Garrus had said as he snickered. Tali just looked at Shepard, up and down. She could imagine underneath that helmet she was smiling. Shepard ignored them and they continued on their way to the planet, ultimately learning that Liara was in the Administration building itself.

It was fitting really that her closest friends from the first Normandy were now accompanying Shepard. A reunion for more than herself, she imagined. As she approached the circular door leading to Liara's office after making pleasantries with her assistant, she stopped. Her stomach had the feeling of thousands of butterflies fluttering inside. How would Liara react after so long? For Shepard the memories of her were so fresh, as if they had happened days ago. In reality she had been gone for years.

"I am sure it will be fine, " Tali said understandingly. For a young Quarian she had been around Shepard long enough to be perceptive, as was Garrus.

The door opened. The memory of the next moments would tear a slow and expanding wound in Shepard that would haunt her for some time.

The shock of seeing Liara threatening a human was the first surprise. As Liara turned around, her face expressed a great excitement and everything seemed as it was so long ago. She walked quickly over to Shepard, closing the distance between them in strong, confident movements. Their faces drew near to each other, for a moment everything seemed to be drawing back together, memories in Shepard's head whirring, becoming vivid, her smell, her skin, her body language, everything about her was stirring something inside. Then Liara looked at her, shook her head slowly, and pulled away.

The next moments were a blur. Business, the mission, find this person, can you do this for me. The transition from lover to soldier was jarring. Not wanting to show emotion, show her embarrassment, Shepard hardened her face, nodding solemnly as Liara answered her questions as a powerful information broker. Her personality was much harder, even her voice had somehow grown deeper. After all was said, Shepard stood up to leave. She looked back one last time at Liara, head filling with so many things she wanted to say. She wanted to run to Liara, lift her up and hold her, feeling her against her. Her body ached with longing though her face showed only stoicism. It had been two years. People change, move on. She didn't want to look Garrus and Tali in the face, so she quickly walked past them and they continued on their way.

So then the mission, the ever important Galaxy saving quest, continued. Shepard was in warrior mode, her mind narrow, and her actions fluid. Garrus and Tali said nothing; they must've known Shepard's humiliation. They spent some time on Illium, recruiting, doing errands, and preparing themselves further to meet the Collector's head on. Shepard even visited Liara a few more times, hacking data and narrowing in on a supposed "assassin". The cool manner in which Liara told of the death of her assistant, the Observer, was a further jarring experience. Hearing her speak on and on, not acknowledging that anything between them ever existed, Shepard let her frustration vent, over so briefly.

"Damn it, Liara, I came to talk to you, not hear about your petty vengeance against the Shadow Broker!"

Liara paused. Almost effortlessly, as if unfazed by Shepard's words, she began to speak briefly about her situation. She told Shepard about how her body was recovered and at the cost of a friend, a drell, who was now in danger. As she told the story her eyes blazed, her voice was pointed, and anyone could read a powerful hatred inside her. Shepard could understand, to an extent, but after that conversation was complete it was like there was nothing more to say. It seems she owed Liara much, but now business was concluded and Liara had her own goals now. Shepard's suggestion that Liara join her was rebuffed quickly, with a flash of something resembling anger in the voice of the Asari.

She left Illium. Her tasks found success, but Shepard felt defeated. She hoped to never return, but feared that her mission would again draw her to this place. The feeling of rejection was like a blow to chest, but she held her head high. She was a soldier; she could not afford to let so many people down because of a bad relationship result. This was not the reunion she had wanted, but her disappointment was tempered. What better could she expect? She had been dead, after all.

"People have moved on," Jacob had said when she first met him and asked about the status of her former crew. The words rang in her head.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Faces**

The nightmares had come back. Slowly and surely they were creeping into Shepard's dreams again. Anyone who saw combat, or any traumatizing experience for that matter, would be able to relate to the symptoms of this mental anguish. Shepard had avoided so many of the roads other warriors had taken, when they were away from the cameras, the fame, the medals, and alone with their thoughts. No drugs, violence against loved ones, meaningless sex to find some human connection. None of those things Shepard had turned to, she couldn't afford to. She just had nightmares. Horrible ones.

She'd see all their faces. Warped, twisted, burnt and shattered. The mortal form of human and alien broken and without life. Many of them were as such because of Shepard's own actions. Then there were the sounds, the roaring of guns, bones cracking, the last gurgling breaths of those who were in the final moments.

Humans called it PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It was a fancy word for the inability of the brain to deal with seeing so much pain, bloodshed, and horror. Even in such an advanced age there was no cure, only therapy and pills. Yet, like many others, Shepard drew into herself, hiding this ailment. As a woman, she had all the more reason to. From her earliest days people had doubted her capabilities, but even as she had shown them her strength, the Galaxy wouldn't want a battered and emotionally distraught hero. So she put on a mask, the noble warrior who went on unaffected by the events around her, always standing alone looking upon the scenes of carnage with a sense that she was above it all, like the portrait of an all conquering General.

Many nights Shepard would suffer, restlessly tossing, pacing, frustration and stress welling up inside her. When she could sleep, she would awaken with sweat drenching her body and usually a terrible yell emanating from her as if reacting to some terrible sight. She would find herself alone most of the time. That was, until she met her.

Liara was so different from anyone Shepard had ever met. She was young, by Asari standards, and was so curious about the Galaxy. She had an awkward way about her, but it was endearing. She had fought and killed, but her fascinations, her hopeful outlook and innocent demeanor were never tarnished. Her probing into Shepard's abilities and experiences had brought the defenses of the stoic soldier down. Shepard had grown to see Liara as a close companion and then finally much more than that.

Their first night together was passionate, as you might expect. It was about more than sex though, much more. When Shepard was with Liara, the Asari's hands running over her body, she felt as if a locked away part of her being had been opened. Like poison drawn from a wound, all the sadness, isolation, and agony in her being was pulled out, as if Liara could understand and see into her. Many of their nights Shepard would just rest her head in the arms of her lover. Their minds linked, the heavy weight of war lifted. Eventually, Shepard could finally sleep again, peacefully.

Even after being dead for so long, she had managed to keep the visions away just by remembering those times with Liara, drawing upon them in the moments when her dreams seemed to veer into darkness, and she would find herself comforted. Seeing Liara on Illium had disoriented Shepard, and as the thoughts of her lover faded, so then did nightmares take hold. They seemed to return stronger, more vivid, and they were finally beginning to manifest themselves physically.

On this particular night Shepard was not sleeping. It was several weeks after meeting Liara for the first time, and rather than face the prospect of seemingly endless nightmares she was in the training room of the Normandy. Even with genetic engineering and the most modern science, there was still good reason to keep your body in shape, especially when facing the rigors of combat. For Shepard, it was an escape, a vent for frustration.

Garrus spent some time in this room. He would often practice his combat skills, honing his "reach and flexibility". He walked in to find Shepard, grunting, pushing up dumbbells and then immediately dropping to the floor and doing push-ups. She took only a small rest to begin again, focused, and seemingly without mercy for her body. This looked less like an exercise routine and more like self-flagellation.

"Take it easy Shepard, you are going to make us all look bad," Garrus said, with just a hint of his usual wryness.

She picked herself up, sweat dripping off her face and smiled.

"What are you doing here, Garrus? I thought your good looks and physique came naturally?", she shot back.

She sat down on a bench and looked over at him. She was desperate for any company, any distraction right now.

Garrus and Tali had wanted to talk to Shepard for awhile. Neither of them could think of the right timing, as so often they were rushing from mission to mission. This rare downtime might be the only chance he got before things became crazy again. He didn't want to talk about what he had to, but he felt it was his responsibility to do so.

"Look Shepard…", Garrus began awkwardly, he wasn't used to having to talking about such things, but Shepard was his friend, "I have been a bit worried about you. We never had a chance to talk about…"

"Liara, right?"

A dark cloud seemed to fall over Shepard's face . It was clear this was an uncomfortable subject for her.

"Shepard, you have to realize that Liara is just in a…difficult place right now. She is distracted, maybe a bit…uhm, short in the way she speaks, but I am sure she still, well, you know, uh, car…"

Shepard raised her hand as if to stop Garrus.

"I appreciate what you are trying to do, I really do. I am alright though, seriously. Liara just moved on. That's it. I am a big girl, I can handle myself."

The words she spoke seemed hollow. Her face betrayed that even she didn't believe what she was saying.

"Well, it is not just that Shepard," Garrus continued, "It's…well, Tali and I have noticed since Illium that you have …"

Garrus considered his words very carefully. He wasn't very smooth when it came to conversations like this, he usually preferred directness. Shepard was a close friend, and a human, and he was not sure how human emotions worked and how she would react.

"You've been drinking a lot more," he flatly said, drawing enough courage to spit out the words he wanted to say.

Shepard's eyes narrowed. Her posture became defensive.

"How would you know that?" she spat.

It was actually a good question. Almost no one else on the crew would notice, except for those who knew her well on the Normandy and perhaps Miranda and Kelly, both with professional reasons to be attuned to Shepard's personality. In the case of Kelly, it might have been more than that, but that isn't what concerned Garrus right now.

"I see you walking the halls at night, I smell it on you. You're lucky no one else is ever awake. Look, Shepard, I am just worried is all. If you want to talk I am here, Tali is here. You don't have to do this all by yourself"

"I am the commander of this ship. I haven't let what I do in my own time effect the mission. I don't let the crew know what I am doing. You are my friend Garrus, but in this case it is not your business."

Garrus felt at a loss. He hadn't handled this as well as he would've liked. It was true what she was saying, the missions hadn't been adversely affected. He had noticed a certain renegade way about Shepard though. She was certainly less patient in her actions during combat. She threw a mercenary out of a window on Illium, shot two Krogan on Omega without even talking to them. She wasn't afraid to do the job, but she had never been so rough, so brutal in her treatment of even those she considered enemies.

"Shepard, look, " Garrus was trying to salvage this conversation as best he could, "I know Liara was close to you, I know you felt something for her. You don't have to act like this isn't hurting you, like your drinking isn't a way to escape everything. You forget, I am a soldier too, I have seen things, lost people, and I can help you if you'll just let me!"

After hearing this, she rested her head in her hands. He was right and part of her was glad someone was finally asking about how she felt. So far, everyone wanted something from her it seems and no one was ever willing to give.

"Garrus…" she sighed heavily, "this is just something that isn't easy to talk about. Liara was very special to me…in a way she was…"

Shepard stopped. For a moment, she had a lump in her throat, a momentary lightness of affliction that she quickly got control of before it caused too many emotions to come up.

"She was partly the reason I could even keep fighting at all."

She had said it. Garrus was sitting now, looking at her intently. She didn't know if he understood her, or what she was feeling. He was a Turian after all, perhaps they don't have the same sentimentality as humans, but at least he was listening. That was more than she could expect from most.

"She was just so different than anybody else. My life has been dominated by the military, fighting, long periods of loneliness with a few bursts of violence, fear, and shock. I've killed, sometimes justifiably and other times maybe not so much. Liara reminded me of…well, something I couldn't have. A clean conscience…no matter how dirty the world around her was, she was…"

Shepard stopped. She had never spoken these words before, and now as she heard them through her own ears she became frustrated.

"I sound like a stupid teenager! Just…it is just hard to see so much change and not have been around for it is all…"

Garrus watched Shepard as she looked down, almost helplessly. He had never seen the Commander in such a state. Even when Kaiden had died on Virmire, he saw her sadness, but at the same time a sense of restraint and strength. This type of vulnerability he had never seen in Shepard. He understood, only too well what a soldier goes through though, even if he was a Turian.

"I can't feel what you are feeling Shepard. I am your friend though and you have more than just a beat up Turian to rely on. You are more than our Commander, you are the motivation for myself, Tali, and the rest of the crew. Even the Cerberus folks who always seem to have something stuck up their ass."

Shepard smiled at the last comment. She had so much more she wanted to say, so much guilt gnawing at her, but it was nice to smile.

"I will be alright Garrus, seriously," Shepard continued. "I just need time to take this all in, all these changes. We are off Illium anyway and there is a mission to complete. This isn't a 20th century romance…this is a war after all."

Garrus nodded. There seemed to be an understanding between them, at least an opening he thought for Shepard to talk and maybe start to deal with her problems. He felt better and hoped that he had stemmed a sharp decline in his friend, his leader, before it was too late.

For a time he was right. Things did proceed normally and Shepard became more moderate in certain behaviors. He could tell she was still hurting, often times she would just retire to her room after meals and stay up there for some time. Nonetheless, a sense that disaster had been averted reigned amongst her crewmates and friends who were aware of the situation.

Liara and Shepard would reunite sooner than anyone thought. The Shadow Broker would finally make an entrance into the stage and revelations would rip open old wounds and send Shepard into depths she had never been before.

**To be continued…**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Long Night**

The Normandy and what remained of its crew were mere hours away from the Omega IV Relay. Shepard was determined not only to end the Collector threat once and for all, but more so to save those who had been lost so suddenly.

All aboard the ship, her squad mates were preparing themselves for what was to come. There was a sense of uneasiness and even a hint of fear in the air. Shepard maintained her composure; she had to, with so much at stake.

After reviewing the Galaxy Map and the ship's course as well as checking in on the squad and its readiness, she retired to her chambers. It would have been eerily silent if not for the bubbling of her fish tank. She had bought fish to give some sense of company in an otherwise lonely room. She watched them dance for awhile, gliding effortlessly through the water. Red, yellow, blue, with stripes and without, the fish reminded her of the beauty of life itself, something she had long since begun forgetting. So much death, so much violence and constant stress on her and the team had made her cynical. She sometimes would forget what she is fighting for as more often than not the types of sentient life she was dealing with were the very worst.

After a few reflective moments watching her pets, she sat down on her desk. Should she review some more work? It seemed pointless right now as she and her whole team could be dead within the next few hours. There was no guarantee the ship would even survive the jump to the Collector home world.

Suddenly, her eyes shifted from her console screen. A simple framed photograph had drawn her attention. Shepard had not looked at it in some time and one might even say she had been avoiding it. Liara. She had tried not to think about her since Illium as her image no longer provided comfort but a deep sadness that only added to Shepard's problems.

Liara had never liked the picture that Shepard used for the frame. It wasn't posed at all, it was a candid shot. It captured what Shepard loved most about her. Liara, looking into the distance, inquisitive while her beautiful, almost noble face seemed too perfect, like a living painting.

"At least let me look at the camera and smile!" Liara had protested.

Lifting the photo towards her face, Shepard felt tormented. So many times she had sat in front of her console and thought of writing to Liara. At one point, she even had a letter written up that was long and winding full of declarations of love, loyalty, and a deep passion and longing to see Liara again. She had, in one moment, wiped the entire message and walked away. She felt like it was unfair to try to bring Liara into her world again which had already put her in such dangerous situations. More than that, she was not even sure Liara felt the same way anymore. Maybe she had met someone else? Maybe her captured "friend" was more than that? Jealousy was like an acid churning in her heart while racing thoughts of what could've been, what might be, filled her mind.

She had every right to move on, Shepard thought to herself. She had been dead, after all. Part of her wanted to put the photo away, let Liara go for good and just wish her the best inside and hope she found some happiness. The other part of her was frustrated by things she wanted to say, more so that she had never even heard from Liara again except for a few messages she routed to her from other people.

She couldn't do this to herself. Not now. The Omega IV Relay and Collector threat lay on the horizon. Putting the picture back in its place, Shepard sighed, shook her head, and headed to bed. Some sleep, some fitful and nightmarish sleep, was better than being awake with so many thoughts.

**Board Set, Pieces Moving**

The Normandy was certainly worse for wear. Massive scars ran across its hull while inside everything was a mess, as if a tornado had blown through its internals. Yet, there was life to be found. The crew was recovered, the battle was over. The "suicide mission" has resulted in an almost complete victory. Even the Illusive Man was pleased, as now he had made himself all the more powerful with access to secrets all the other races could only envy.

Shepard had won the day. The crew deserved a rest, but more than that it was necessary to repair some of the damage to the ship. Stopping at a local station in the Omega system, her intention was to let everyone catch their breath while EDI and the Engineering staff analyzed the damage.

Everyone had a great sense of relief onboard. Kelly had run up to Shepard and hugged her, in fact a bit too long to be friendly and with hands that were slightly wandering. Shepard smiled to herself. Kelly was a bit heavy handed in acting on her attraction, but it made the Commander feel a bit flattered, and why shouldn't she be after so much danger and death?

As Shepard settled back into her quarters, she nearly collapsed onto her desk, only barely making it to the chair near it. Another battle won and another glorious victory to add to her name. Sorting through her messages, she found a few from her crew, thanking her, as well as various other routine issues she needed attended to. Suddenly, her eyes stopped. She saw a header that immediately caused her heart to jump.

"Concerning L. T'Soni", the title read. Shepard hesitated. What could this mean? It had arrived just hours after the squads' return from the Collector Base according to the timestamp.

She opened the email and in doing so was about to be introduced to a very twisted game.

"Commander Shepard," the note began, "It has come to the attention of my organization that you have concluded a certain business with former clients of mine. It is terribly unfortunate that our dealings may have in some way negatively affected your person, as well as that of a dear friend of yours. At your convenience, please contact me on the following encrypted channel. I believe it is in my best interests to speak with you. I hope we can reach a mutually beneficial arraignment that prevents violence breaking out from misunderstandings.

-SB"

The Shadow Broker. She had not heard from this enigmatic entity since the first Normandy was still flying. At the time, a representative of "his" wanted to purchase very sensitive Alliance data. She had turned him away. Now this person wanted to speak to her for reasons she could only guess at. The title of the email was certainly provocative and the Shadow Broker knew how to get her attention. She thought for a few moments and went quickly to the very same communications room she used to speak to the Illusive Man.

"EDI, get an uplink on this channel. I am not to be interrupted."

"Yes, Commander Shepard" EDI responded. She heard the door behind her lock, and suddenly the room went dark. A connection was being made and an image was unfolded before her.

The great reveal was surprisingly anti-climactic, as before her was a veiled form of a humanoid. It seemed almost comical that the great Shadow Broker was to be represented by so cliché an avatar.

"Commander Shepard, it is very good to see you in person. You look well, for what you have endured. How does this day find you?"

The accent seemed human, something reminiscent of old style Earth English dramas that Shepard had watched as a young girl. This was no Jane Austen tale though, and she imagined the Shadow Broker's voice was synthesized to sound as he wanted to depending on the audience.

"Save me the pleasantries. I am here because of Liara. I know you have been tracking her and what you tried to do to my body. Speak your piece and let us get this over with!"

"Ah, must we be so short with one another? It is a rare pleasure to see the savior of the Galaxy. I must admit I am flattered you so promptly responded to my entreaty. Alas, I believe your manner betrays someone very weary, so I will try to be brief…"

"Please do." Shepard flatly responded.

"Indeed. As you know by now, the Collectors had hired my organization on a particular contract which we pursued with the same intensity as you might with a mission of great importance. That is my business, it is how I make my money and maintain my organization and balance in the Galaxy. Unfortunately, it seems we greatly miscalculated the purpose of the Collectors, and to my understanding it seems your ship entered the Omega IV relay and has now yet returned. I imagine not in retreat and I further think that I shall not be hearing much more from our former clients."

"You would be correct. The Collectors are gone. Those who helped them might consider themselves facing a similar end." Shepard glared at the veiled image. She was in no mood for a longwinded conversation.

"Hm, yes, I see. I understand why you might feel that way. Let me assure you we had no knowledge of what twisted purpose the Collectors intended, and, to be honest, I believe we can do much to repay this error on our parts by aiding you in a way you will appreciate…"

"I don't need you or your organization. I work with enough shadowy garbage…"

"Yes, your 'Illusive Man', a very pretentious name if you ask me, but a powerful man nonetheless," the Broker said and she could hear a slight snicker under the breath of the being before her.

"Let me be explicit. We discovered some time ago the Collectors were more than curious galactic inhabitants and have, since that time , gathered very valuable information about their dealings outside of the Omega IV Relay as well as some very interesting research concerning a 'back door', or what they referred to as a 'pathway for their masters'. I assure you your Illusive Man, for all he can offer has not the depth of understanding we can give you and I hope, for the benefit of your good will, we can arrange an understanding between us so…"

"So that I do not kill you?" Shepard interjected.

"In so many words, yes. I could imagine if you turned your attention towards me and my group the results could be particularly unpleasant. I would be more than willing to send this data over for your perusal. I think it will be VERY helpful in regards to your future actions to spare us from the…"

"How do I know you are not working for them? The Reapers themselves?" Shepard inquired. She was growing very impatient, but at this point could not deny the value of something that would allow her to fight a force whose numbers could blot out the stars.

"Shepard, Shepard, Shepard. My business is information, trading between sentient races. It is very, very bad business if all sentient life is dead, is it not? You may not like me, but at the end of the day I listen to reason when it comes to credits. I would be more than willing to work in your favor in future, quietly of course as not to…well, ruin my reputation for neutrality, but I hope you understand that I truly do wish you the best on your mission…"

"Enough. You are tiring me. IF your information is of use and not just junk, I will not pursue you. To be honest, I have a lot of other things to deal with other than chasing down a bastard like you and I can't be too picky about my allies anyway, considering many people still don't realize I am alive. If you are lying to me, though, I promise you that…"

"This is my business!" the Broker's voice grew strained, almost as if he took offense to the insinuation his work could be bad.

"I assure you the information relating to your Reapers, their activities, Dark Energy, and various other matters will aid you in your quest. I am glad we could be relatively cordial with one another and hope this relationship bears grea…."

"What about Liara?"

Finally the Broker grew quiet, as if he was considering his words carefully.

"Well," he finally began, "She is of no further use to me. As such she will have to be dealt with. This is the business that she and I share. You must understand…"

"Unacceptable! You have been trying to kill her all this time and I won't let you do so now!"

The Broker laughed, releasing a booming, scornful sound.

"Shepard, what you think you know and what is true are two different things. I am surprised though, has the Illusive Man told you nothing of this?"

"He says she has been working for you. SHE says she is trying to kill you. Her enemy is my enemy, and it is only because of that damn message title that I am here, trying to hear news of my frie…"

"Friend is it?" She could almost imagine a hateful smirk on the face of the figure before her.

"Do you think me so sloppy that if I wanted Ms. T'Soni dead she would not already be so? Do remember how close I came to claiming you, though I admit it was good I failed that time? No, Liara has been useful, in her own way, though annoyingly focused. I imagine the Illusive Man has also found her to be of great aid…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Shepard was growing frustrated.

"Ah, Shepard. In this Galactic drama, you are the star to which all others orbit. Liara was useful as a conduit to your person and your quest. Watching her meant watching you, and in doing so this is how we found out the error of our ways. It also meant throwing her a bone occasionally on her ridiculous vendetta. A few crumbs to keep her and the Illusive Man satiated..."

"What does he have to do with this?"

"Well, you should ask him yourself. Let me just say Liara is not as 'independent' as you might imagine and finds herself in very bad company these days. Her actions have reflected that as well. Her devotion has led her to become something which you and I both agree resembles…"

"Damn you get to the point. I won't have you killing her and I want her to be released from whatever purpose you had for her!" Shepard was angry now, but more confused. She didn't know what was going on, only that she wanted Liara to be safe.

The Shadow Broker was silent for what seemed an eternity.

"You understand it is against my business practice to let someone so flagrantly cross me. I imagined you would take this course of argument and anticipated a plan for it. Let us just say then that our arraignment must no longer be so favored towards yourself…I will have to ask something of you in return..."

"Why the hell would I help you? After what you tried to do to me? To Liara?!"

"Liara brought these things upon herself. You truly know nothing of her dealings do you? You assume she is the same naïve scientist who digs at the bones of long dead beings? Don't be a fool, Shepard. Look at the data I send you and tell me truly if this is the Liara you remembered…"

Suddenly, Shepard's omni-tool came to life. A stream of data was pouring into it. She quickly opened it and saw a long list of names and images. As she explored each she began to feel very sick.

"Look at them, Shepard. Some of them deserved their fate, truly, but tell me, is it loyal devotion that claimed some of those on that list or madness?"

As she scrolled the list, there were the names, faces, and even accompanying photos of each person as they looked alive…and as they were found dead.

Some were listed as mercenaries and other criminal types. Shepard had killed many of their kind before, but the twisted comparison of their living profile and the attached picture of their grisly death did cause her some uneasiness.

Then, as she passed mercenaries, thugs, drug dealers and other related dregs of society, Shepard's uneasiness became a growing sense of horror.

"A human dock worker, 24 years old. Witnessed bribery of elected official, found dead with head injury. Investigation led to Liara T'Soni. Case closed by order of Illium administration."

"Asari shop owner, 215 standard years old. Caught in crossfire of commando squad. Was walking to local market. Investigation led to L. T'Soni organization. Case closed by order of Illium admin."

"Human businessman, 55 years old. Found dead, likely due to biotic attack. Was on the way to pick up children. Investigation led to…"

Shepard could not read anymore. The names, faces, the images of their mangled bodies made her feel sick. She almost vomited, not out of the grossness of the descriptions and imagery alone, but the fact that these civilians, these innocents were dead…by the hand of someone she loved.

"The costs of doing business in my world, Shepard. In Liara's world." The Shadow Broker said.

"I don't believe it! I can't believe this! You…you are trying to turn me against her…to…"

"Liara is not the woman you remember. Maybe she never was who you thought. She has impressed me with her focus and her ability to establish herself in this business, but I can see her actions cause you great concern, as they should. With that said, you can see why I might want to remove someone who has so messily blackened my name with her actions, but…to your point, I believe we might reach an agreement on her continued existence should you be able to…"

"You son of a bitch!" Shepard cried. "You made her do these things!"

"I did no such thing. She made her choice. Once her and that bumbling idiot Feron claimed your corpse she could have went on her way, mourned for you like some penitent church woman or slagged off and chipped away at dusty ruins for years. Instead she chose to pursue me, and in doing so gained a powerful patron who had their own designs for her. Now, with you and me speaking, I have no further use for her or the drell. If you want me to forego my judgement…"

"I will kill you if you touch her!" Shepard said, with a burning determination in her voice.

"Maybe you would. But ask yourself, do you have the time to spare to drag out a war with me? You may succeed in destroying me, yes. I can make your road very uncomfortable, though, and should you not focus on bigger enemies?"

Gone was the pretense of courtesy and nobility in the Broker's voice. Every word of his was like poison, dripping with vindictiveness and arrogance.

"What do you want?" She said with a deep resignation in her voice.

"Liara may yet live. She is done in the information business though. She is to leave Illium and end her organization and its activities. For her safety, she should stay away for some time. Should she ever return, let her be a tourist or open a flower shop, but should she ever inquire as to my business again she will be dead in less than a week's time."

He paused, as if letting Shepard take in every word.

"You are to convince her to give up her hopeless quest against me. In effect, you are becoming responsible for her behavior. Should she be able to stay her vengeance, then you and I can work together in a fruitful manner. If not, I guarantee she will not survive and your quest will become that much more difficult."

"..Is…is that it?" Shepard said weakly. She just wanted to be done with this. She felt dirty, like the air itself was filled with a stench that was sticking to her.

"Finally, you are in possession of data that is very valuable regarding the Alliance and Cerberus, especially the latter entity's possession of Reaper and Collector technology. This data is to be turned over to me immediately, with the…"

"You ask me to commit treason now? To undermine the very organizations that have helped me so far and possibly threaten the mission you say yourself is important?!"

"Shepard, do let me finish." The Shadow Broker knew he had the upper hand in this conversation. It was a position Shepard was not used to bearing, but the conflicting emotions about Liara mixed with the desire to protect her even now compelled her to endure.

"I have no intention of using or selling such data in a way that could damage your current endeavors. Should you…well, save us all, I will then pursue my business with the data you have provided. Until then, it is my promise, and in my best interests, to merely keep such data for the future. An investment you see…"

"You fucking monster. You always intended this farce of a conversation to end up swapping horses for your benefit, didn't you?" she said, as she seethed in anger.

"I wouldn't be a very good in my business if I didn't always act to my advantage. As a soldier, I thought you would understand the value of not entering a field of battle you yourself have not prepared for."

"What about the drell, Feron…"

Again the Shadow Broker exploded in hateful laughter.

"Feron? A traitor, a leech, worthless now whereas before he was just another piece of collateral to use just in case. You can have him. I have coordinates to his location. Take your Asari 'friend' there and I will ensure his guards are nothing you can't handle. We have to make a good show of it, after all, right? I can't just be seen to give him to you. That would be bad for business. We will have a little dramatic spectacle, a stunning rescue, and then you can be off with your two prizes in hand. I imagine this is acceptable?"

Shepard nodded meekly. She felt like a child, powerless and without options. She had to take this abuse if for no other reason than to save someone she cared about.

"Excellent. Once you claim your Asari and Drell, I will expect the data to be transferred to me promptly. Oh, and do not look so upset, Shepard. I think you will find my help valuable…and this is nothing personal, just business. Like the scorpion and the frog's tale…I simply cannot change my nature…"

Shepard wasn't listening anymore. She just wanted this nightmare to end.

"Oh…and by the way. I would be careful how you relay our deal to Liara. As I said, she has changed. More than that please take care who you welcome into your confidences and your bedroom…oftentimes whom we choose to give our loyalties to can lead to unfortunate results…"

"I am ending up in bed with a lot of unsavory characters these days…" Shepard responded.

"Ah, quite good. Farewell Shepard. You will see I am a person of my word. Again, all the best to you on your que…"

The image faded out as Shepard smashed the button to end the communication. She sunk down on her knees. The images of the dead haunted her now, in the waking hours. Not the ones that she herself had taken part in, but Liara's handiwork now tore at her. Could this be true? Could Liara have become so twisted? If so, was it not Shepard's fault?

Her fault. If she had just left Liara alone…had just let her be a scientist and not slept with her. If she had done so many things differently…

The Universe was a dark place, but people like Liara were the lights worth saving, at least in Shepard's mind. Now the anchor of her hopes, the personification of her reason for fighting was revealed to be just as mired in the shit of the Galaxy as she was.

"Goddamnit, Liara. Why?" Shepard whispered to herself as tears began to form in her eyes.

"Commander…should I contact the Illusive Man or…" EDI's interruption jarred Shepard out of her introspection. She had forgotten that the AI was probably watching the whole time.

"Give me a moment EDI..I want the ship to be ready to go to Illium. We can make the repairs later…"

"Yes, Commander."

Shepard didn't feel like she was in command of anything anymore. Bound to the Illusive Man on one hand and now in dealings with the Shadow Broker she felt like her road was no longer her own. Worse, the prospect of seeing Liara and trying to convince her to stop her quest loomed before her. She didn't know what to expect, what would come out of Liara. She didn't even know if the young Asari was the same women she fell in love with anymore…

Shepard was lost. What did she have left now?


	4. Chapter 4

**Revelations**

The Illusive Man appeared before Shepard in his typical dramatic fashion. Darkened room, permanent imagery of some unknown star pulsing in the background.

"Shepard," he began, "EDI has informed me you had a very difficult conversation with…"

"Don't play with me. What the hell do you know about Liara, about the Shadow Broker, that you have not told me?" Shepard was in no mood to trade barbs with people like the Illusive Man. She wanted answers, clarity, and some hope that what the Shadow Broker was saying was untrue.

"Shepard, you must understand that everything I have done so far has been for the good of the mission. You may not believe me, but I have tried to look after you as a friend would…"

"I am an investment to you and don't patronize me. Tell me about Liara. NOW."

"I did not lie to you. Liara was working for the Shadow Broker, just not to her knowledge. She also had some dealings with myself, which we need not go into detail about. Various things that needed to be taken care of, debts to repay, but with that said she has been well looked after, has lived a good life with money and influence. For a former scientist, she took well to the lifesty…"

"Goddamnit, then the Shadow Broker was right?! You two bouncing her back and forth like a ball to be played with? You saw the things she did! You saw what your stupid tricks made her do! Why couldn't you have just left her alone?"

"Shepard. Listen to reason for a moment. Liara was in danger after retrieving your body. I know she meant something to you, so we kept an eye on her and her wellbeing. Cerberus takes care of its people, as I'd hope you'd realize by now."

"Why put her in that position though?" Shepard's voice was cracking. She had never shown such emotion in her official business. She didn't care now. She wanted to hear something that would vindicate herself and Liara. She was grasping for some explanation.

"Liara wanted to be useful. She wanted to help YOU Shepard. We could have snuck her off world, placed her somewhere safe where she could live the life of a high society socialite or continue her scientific work. She refused. She felt compelled to help her friend Feron and wait for you…"

With that, the Illusive Man drew deeply on a cigarette, as was his way.

"Why did she not tell me these things? Why were you not upfront with me since the beginning?"

"As I said," continued the Illusive Man, "The mission comes before anything else. I needed your mind focused and free of distraction. Liara thought it best that she not cloud your mind wi…"

"No YOU did! What did you tell her?!" Shepard was growing increasingly angry. She felt like a teenager who didn't like the answers some adult was giving her. Her voice was straining, her eyes watering…

"That is not important now and neither are the details of what she did. The Shadow Broker wanted to shake you up, and I assure you one day he will be dealt with. To be honest, I was hoping your eye would be caught by someone else, Kelly perhaps or one of your male squad members. Your loyalty to your friend is admirable, but I can see you are frustrated but your anger is misplaced. Liara T'Soni had a role to fulfill, one that would only further make you emotional if I were to speak of it…"

"Emotional?! You used someone I loved like a goddamn drinking glass! What next? When you and the Shadow Broker had your fill you would throw her to shatter against the wall?!"

The Illusive Man was surprisingly quiet for a moment. Shepard actually was shocked to see something approaching sympathy in his face. No dramatic cigarette poses or drinking now. He looked at her and then began again.

"Shepard. This is exactly what I did not want to happen. You have been through a lot, more than any soldier I have known. Perhaps after your 'mission' to save Feron and Liara, you should take a break. Maybe a few weeks as your ship is repaired at one of our facilities?"

"Don't pretend to care about me now." Shepard was tired, she just wanted to fall down and even being harassed by terrible dreams seemed a good option.

"You are the hero of humanity. More than an investment I have come to respect you, whether you believe it or not. The dealings with Liara are done. The details, as I said, irrelevant. Perhaps you will find them out on your own, perhaps not. I would encourage you to move on and to rest now. Perhaps you and could a Kelly could take some time to…"

"What? Pity sex?"

"I meant to say talk. She is a psychologist after all, and your mental wellbeing is just as important as your ability to fire a gun or kick down a door. "

"Maybe I will think about it." Shepard was calming down now. It was a bitter pill to realize that perhaps the Illusive Man was a friend in some capacity to her now. A voice of reason. She needed to find a wider social circle, she thought…

"One more thing Shepard. I understand you promised some data to the Shadow Broker. I imagine you have no intention of betraying the Alliance or, well, me. I will transfer some data to you that, while seemingly valuable, is something any dedicated hacker could have found out with the right leads. As for the Alliance, the data you mined yourself on the first Normandy would seem important to use now. I will have EDI remove selected parts minimizing any damage. When this war is over and we are victorious, I assure you the Shadow Broker will get his due…"

"Maybe. If we live that long. I have to go."

Shepard's image faded. The Illusive Man stared out into the expanse. Shaking his head, he took a drink and reflected. He was worried now. In her state Shepard might make mistakes, mistakes that could not afford to be made at this point. More pressing was the impending confrontation with Liara T'Soni. She was expendable, Shepard was not. If the Asari proved problematic, she would have to go away. He hoped Shepard had the courage to let her go, because if she wouldn't he would have to find a way to make Liara no longer an issue. His method of break-up would be far different than Shepard's.

**Betrayals**

Meeting Liara on Illium was hardly the treat one might expect. Shepard revealed to her that Feron's location had been given to her and the time was right to make a move to rescue him. She had not the heart to tell Liara WHO had given the location. Liara was excited and joined up with her immediately.

The Shadow Broker was true to his word. While Liara was tense and the rest of the squad played their parts, Shepard realized it was amateur hour. Feron's guards were a pathetic array of mercenary drop outs, the real heavy hitters probably sent home on the Broker's order. There were flashes and bangs, enough drama to give anyone watching closely enough the impression of a great battle.

Feron was certainly beat up and malnourished, but alive. In a 'mysterious' coincidence there was a great cache of data found, revealing great insight into the Collector's role and the Reaper's goals.

Feron and Liara were brought aboard ship. Dr. Chakwas would tend to the drell's wounds and Liara would stay aboard for a time to go through the data that had been recovered. Shepard saw the excitement in her eyes. The prospect of being so close to finishing her goal, defeating the Shadow Broker, was bringing back a bit of the excitable Liara, but for all the wrong reasons.

Shepard set course for a Cerberus station for repairs and recovery. It was perfect timing, as according to Joker and EDI a few more jumps on the Normandy would have strained the armor and electronics to the point of catastrophic failure. The damage was repairable, but at least a few weeks in dry dock were needed. While the prospect of "shore leave" aboard a Cerberus station was hardly exciting, it would at least be some deserved downtime for the crew.

Shepard found herself stalling. She was waiting for a magical moment to talk to Liara, but in reality she just didn't want to have the conversation at all. She had to stop Liara, for the sake of her life, but she didn't want to reveal the particulars. This would be the most difficult conversation she would ever have.

She finally mustered up the courage to talk to her. Most of the crew was aboard the station, finding whatever distractions they could to entertain themselves. Liara was working in an unused office below decks on the Normandy. Feron was in the room, sitting apart and listening while she railed on about next steps, data, and plans.

"Liara, I think we need to talk for a moment." Shepard said. It was not her best opening, but she couldn't be eloquent with so many thoughts and fears going through her.

Liara turned from the screen and smiled.

"Oh, Shepard! I didn't see you. Come in, please! We were just going over some of the data we recovered and I think it will be very helpful in finding the Shadow Broker! It's only a matter of time now."  
Liara looked so eager, the same way she used to look when she would talk about Prothean ruins. Shepard looked at Feron and could swear she saw a look of understanding in his eyes. He was too experienced in the old cloak and dagger to have been fooled. He must've realized that his rescue came all too easily. At very least she wouldn't have to try to convince two people, or so she hoped.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about Liara. You and the Shadow Broker. Him and I spoke recently."

"What did he tell you?! What did he say?" Liara's faced changed quickly to one of confusion and concern.

"Liara."

Shepard paused. She thought about her next words so carefully. It felt like an eternity before she spoke again.

"Liara. We came to an agreement. The details are not important, but he has at least agreed to help us with information about the Reapers that could be…"

"You WHAT?!" Liara's confused suddenly turned to shock and then to anger. Feron look apprehensive. He raised himself up and tried to interject.

"Liara, maybe we should listen to Shepard. I am sure she had a good.."

"How could you reach an agreement with him?! I don't understand…after what he did to you…to us?"

This was becoming very difficult now. Shepard's fight or flight reaction was kicking in and for the first time flight seemed like a good possibility.

"Liara, he wants to help us now. As part of that deal you have to let him go. He said if you stop pursuing him he will help us and in return…"

Liara didn't let Shepard finish. She rose up and began pacing furiously back and forth. She was trying to take in what she was hearing and obviously having a difficult time of it.

"Liara, just please listen to me. It is really for the best right now. All I am saying is that we have to focus on the real enemy, the Reapers. I just need you to help me…"

"Help…you?" Liara now turned and the full force of her anger was focused on Shepard.

"Help you?! After all I have done…you have no idea…you can't have any idea of what I had to do! What I DID willingly…for YOU. Now you go and…"

"Liara, please! The Illusive Man has agreed this is also the best…"

"The Illusive Man now?!"

"Just listen, Liara! You are making this so difficult…you are…"

"Difficult?!"

Liara was exasperated. She began to speak, very slowly, emphasizing each word for effect.

"Difficult was living with the fact I left you behind on the Normandy to die. Difficult was watching your body, floating away and sitting helplessly as vacuum claimed your life. Difficult was…was doing all the things I had to do just to survive…just for the chance to see you again. Now you have thrown that in my face…you want me to be happy? You want me to just walk away from the person who did this? You quote at me the words of a madman as if that should make me feel better? The Illusive Man? The Shadow Broker? I…who are you?!"

Shepard felt the words like knives thrusting into her heart. Liara must not have known how much danger she was in, how much the fact that Shepard could even be brought back shielded her from harm.

"Liara…please just listen to me. You were in danger, I had to make this deal, for you and for us. It can…can be like old times again. You can join my crew. Your old life can be behind you, all of those things you had to do. You can…"

"I can't walk away from my work. Don't you get it? That's my role now, that is how I can help you. I have built a life for myself, I don't just revolve around your needs, Shepard." Liara said the name as if she was spitting it.

" You have to let it go. If you go back that way I cannot protect you…the Shadow Broker will come for you and I can't let that happen. Please, I'll do anything, just promise me you can walk away from that life…"

"What do you think Shepard? That I can just transition right back into being your little Asari girlfriend? That I just jump right back into my happy go lucky ways? I can't go back now. I can't just wash all that away. I don't…I don't even know who you are right now asking me that…"

Shepard's heart was breaking. Her voice was pleading now. She would have gotten down on her knees if it would've helped.

"I know what you did, Liara. I know what you had to do…I don't blame you, I don't want to. You can let that go now, we can…we can be together aga…"

"What do you know about what I have done?! How can you?! No. I am going back to Illium… I have work to…"

"I can't let you do that Liara. It was part of the deal. You cannot go back there, there is no future in that place but death."

The room went silent. Feron looked anxious. He stood up, anticipating that he would have to come between them at any moment.

"The deal? Part of the deal is you dictate to ME what I can and cannot do?"

"Liara, this is for the best. The Shadow Broker said you cannot go back. He made that clear. I had to give up much to ensure you would not. I am trying to save…"

"For the best…cannot go back?"

"Liara…this is how it has to be. I can't let you go back. Let us not argue anymore. We have other things to worry…the Reapers are coming. I need you, I need your help. That life HAS to be behind you, you have to give it up, even if I have to order yo…"

"You presume to order me? Like a child?!"

"If I have to I will."

Liara began to move forcefully towards the door. Shepard put herself in her way. This was the closest she had been to Liara in a long, long time, but now it was in anger, not love.

"I can't let you go until you promise me."

"Get out of my way, Shepard."

"Liara…"

"I said get out of my way!"

Everything seemed to go in slow motion now. Liara's eyes glowed blue, her hand crackled with biotic power. Feron tried to rush into the situation, but time seemed to have stopped for him, as if he were swimming against a rushing tide. Shepard felt the blow to her face, she felt her body slam against the wall and looked down at a person she didn't recognize…

Garrus had stayed aboard the ship. He didn't feel very comfortable hanging around a Cerberus station as a Turian, so he was trying to catch up on some exercise. Suddenly, EDI's avatar popped up. If an AI could be frantic, EDI was.

"Garrus. You must get to the lower office immediately."

"What's wrong EDI?!"

"You must get there immediately. Miranda is already on her way. You must go, NOW!"

Garrus dropped what he was doing and ran towards the elevator. He had no idea what he was rushing into.

Shepard was in shock. She didn't know how to react. Liara was staring at her, her face twisted in anger. Feron was pleading with her, trying to pull her back, but she threw him with a wave of biotic force.

Suddenly, the door opened. It was Miranda. In one fluid motion she raised her hand and a blast of blue energy slammed into Liara, stunning her. Garrus was quick to follow with two crewmembers armed with rifles. One aimed as if to fire, but Garrus had him stand down. Garrus rushed to tend to Shepard, while the two guards forcefully grabbed Liara and pinned her against a wall.

It seemed as if the anger was seeping out of Liara. Her eyes cleared up. She looked at the situation before her and her face sank.

"She…Shepard?"

Garrus was propping the Commander up. Blood covered her face, with more pouring out of her nose and trickling down her mouth. Time seemed to resume suddenly, the full realization of what Liara had done dawning on the young Asari.

"Shepard…oh Goddess…Shepard!"

Suddenly Liara reeled in pain as a man punched her in the ribs.

"Are you out of your goddamn mind?! She is the commander of this ship! Shut the fuck up!" A crewmember roared at her.

Shepard composed herself. Standing up straight, her hand still covering her face in an attempt to stem the blood.

"So this is it then Liara?" she began.

"This is how it has to be? I loved you…I needed you! I would have done anything for you, anything to repay what you did for me…but maybe it was for nothing. You spared me from my nightmares, but maybe it was you that was the dream. You can't recognize me?!"

Shepard grabbed a data pad and pressed a few keys. Her omni-tool glowed as data transferred over.

"Look at yourself!"

She flung the pad at Liara and it fell on the floor before her. It started to scroll on its own. Names, faces, bodies. The very list the Shadow Broker had given Shepard now unfolded before Liara's eyes.

"I…I loved you so much." She said. Shepard began to cry. Garrus still had his arm around her shoulders, doing his best to comfort her.

"Shepard…Shepard! Please…I am so…"

Another blow. In the stomach this time. Liara's body dropped helplessly as the air was knocked out of her.

"Commander, what should we do with her?" Miranda asked.

"Take her to the Port Observatory. She is to be confined there until we can set off again. At the first major world Liara is to be sent on her way, never to return to this ship."

Shepard turned and walked away.

"Shepard…I am so…I am so…" Liara was gasping for air. Between being hit and the sadness overflowing inside her she could barely speak. She was lifted up roughly. She was dragged through the ship until she had finally reached her destination.

Miranda lifted Liara's face were her hands. She looked forcefully, directly into the Asari's eyes.

"On an Alliance ship, you might get a trial. On a Cerberus ship, you would be dead. Shepard would have betrayed her own race to save you if it came to that. Think on that while you simmer in here."

With that, the two crew members flung Liara like a ragdoll into the room. She heard the door behind her slam shut, its lock glowing red. Liara rose up, staring out at the void before her. What had she done? What had she become? Tears streaming down her face she could not help to feel the suffering in Shepard too. She needed to make this right. She had held so much in for so long she had exploded, but in the wrong way. She needed to make this right. She had hit her. She had hit the one she would've died for. The one she loved. The one who her body ached to be against. The one who dominated all of her dreams, her fantasies.

She needed to make this right. She just knew not how.


	5. Chapter 5

**Conclusion: One mind, One Body**

Most of the crew never realized what had happened. Luckily the majority had been away. Only a select few knew why Liara T'Soni was locked in the Port Observatory. The few guards who had been involved had been threatened very clearly by Miranda that if anything got out a trip out of the airlock awaited them.

Things had quiet down. Shepard had not been seen by the rest of the squad for days. Miranda, Garrus, and Tali were getting worried. EDI refused to give up information, citing the Commander's "privacy".

"Someone has to check on her." Tali said.

Garrus and Tali shot a look at Miranda.

"I..I could do so. Yet, you two know her better than I… I wouldn't know where to start." She responded to their staring.

"You are a human woman, though. Maybe you can understand her, help her more than we can." Garrus replied.

"I would…but, well isn't Kelly suited for this?"

Suddenly, as if by chance, the ship psychologist strode past them.

"Kelly!" all three cried at once.

The red-haired woman paused, a bit shocked by all three of them calling her out. She read the signs of a great worry on all of their faces. She approached and saluted. Miranda was always into formalities. Garrus, Tali and Miranda looked at each other.

"We need your help, Kelly."

Time had passed. The trio was growing impatient. Miranda was pacing back and forth. Tali was nervously rubbing her hands together. Garrus was leaning against a wall, resigned. Kelly had been in Shepard's room for two hours already.

"It is only a few more weeks until the ship is ready. We have no more time to waste. Shepard must be able to refocus on the mission, at any cost." Miranda said, finally breaking the silence.

"Good to see how much you care." Garrus said sarcastically.

"Don't misinterpret me. This never should have happened if that Asari had just listened to reason. As for Shepard, I care about her deeply. Hell, if she was a man I might even be in love with her. That's not the point. We have a job to do. There are thousands of ships heading towards our Galaxy, if you had forgotten. We NEED Shepard. She is our only hope against this threat and so far she has not failed us…"

"She's not just a symbol. She is a person with feelings." Tali interjected.

"Don't you think I realize that? Damn, this has gotten so out of hand. You can see why I never date anymore…"

"Yeah, we can." Garrus couldn't resist the opportunity to knock Miranda down another few pegs.

As the woman shot Garrus a glare, the door suddenly opened. All eyes now turned to Kelly.

"How is she?" Tali asked.

Kelly had deep lines across the top of her forehead. She was worried.

"It is…bad. Very bad." She responded.

"What does that mean?!" Miranda inquired.

"She has been drinking. A lot. More than that she is just in a very bad place in her head."

"What can we do to help her?" said Tali.

"We need to be quick about it." Miranda said, nearly tripping over Tali's words.

Kelly shook her head.

"There is no way to heal such emotional damage quickly. Shepard has been carrying a large burden for years. She has had PTSD and left it untreated for too long now. Being dead and…well, brought back only further disoriented her. It will take years of therapy and help from loved ones. To at least make her functional though, there is one way that might help start the healing."

Miranda was growing impatient. "What is it? Get to the point!"

"Liara must be allowed to speak with her. Either to resolve their differences or bring closure to their relationship. Right now there is an open wound in both of them, and keeping the two apart just makes it worse."

"I do not know if that is wise." Tali said.

"Shepard can take care of herself, Tali." The Turian knew as much based on what he had seen.

"I am not worried about Shepard. I am worried about Liara…" the Quarian responded.

"EDI," Miranda said, "Inform Liara that she is to come to the Commander's Quarters at once. She is released from holding."

The elevator door opened. Liara was greeted with mostly glares. If she could see Tali's face she might have the same expression as Garrus and Miranda. Kelly stood directly in front of her, a look of deep concern on her face.

"Liara." Kelly began, "We have brought you up here so that you can talk to the Commander. She is taking your altercation very hard, as I am sure you are. Before you leave the ship, or whatever the future holds, we wanted to give you both the opportunity to at least have some measure of peace between yourselves."

"Don't be stupid in there." Miranda said.

Kelly continued. "Liara, please be careful. More than that…just…well, I hope you can say something to help the situation."

Liara nodded solemnly. This might be her only chance to make things right. She may never see Shepard again after this, so she had to make it count.

She approached the door and then paused. She pushed her shoulders back, trying to make herself stand straighter which was a way of preparing herself. She took one deep breath, took a step forward. The door opened, and she entered.

The door shut behind her. She looked around. Cerberus quarters certainly were large. She didn't see Shepard yet. She began to move forward, slowly. She scanned around, looking at the place Shepard called home. She stopped suddenly, noticing a small framed picture. It was thrown on the ground. A few specks of blood were present across it. It was a photo of Liara. The photo she always disliked. She sighed heavily, memories flooding back of a happier time.

Then she saw her. A small, huddled form in the corner near her bed. Shepard's head was down, as if contemplating the ground. Around her were several bottles of what could only be heavy alcohol. Liara approached carefully, unsure of what the reaction would be to her presence.

Shepard did not stir. Perhaps she was asleep, or passed out? Liara kneeled before the form before her. Shepard smelled of drunkenness. Liara got closer still, then sat cross legged, right in front of Shepard.

"Shepard?" Liara said meekly.

"Shepard? It…It's me Liara."

No response. Liara reached out to touch Shepard's hand. Suddenly, it withdrew in a lightning fast reflex.

"Don't look at me." Came a voice, wobbly and weak.

"Shepard. I want to talk to you. I want to…apologize for what happened earlier."

"Don't look at me." Came the reply again.

"I am looking at you Shepard. I am looking at someone I lo...I care deeply about. Shepard I was stupid. I hurt you in many ways. I want to say that I am so, so sorry. I want to make things better between us. Will you let me do that?"

Shepard began to rouse. Her head rose just a little, as if she wanted to look at Liara. Then it sunk back down again.

"I am stupid Liara." Shepard began. "I wanted so badly to be back to the way we…the way we were. I had forgot…forgot that so much would have changed. I idolized you…I…God, I am stupid. It was my fault…"

"Shepard…"

"Liara...it is just that…just that…"

Liara waited. She didn't know what to expect.

"It was just that…you were the only good thing in my life."

The Asari's chest tightened. Sadness was constricting her. She felt as if her heart was stopping.

"I have no one else. No family left, just a few friends who I met in war. You…you were so different. You were not scarred like me. You were…beautiful. You were so kind, so understanding. I didn't have to be hard around you…I could…I could be…I could be weak. I could be sad. I could be human around you…"

Tears began to well up in Liara's eyes.

"Oh, Shepard…"

"I can't help but feel like I made you the way you are…my selfishness ruined you…"  
Suddenly the form before Liara began to shake. Shepard was sobbing.

"If it wasn't for me you would be the same person you were. You wouldn't have had to do…to endure those horrible things. You would be safe, you would be happy. You wouldn't have to deal with monsters like I had to…the same demons I wrestle with everyday…I ruined you…I ruined you…"

Liara became determined. She grabbed both of Shepard's hands in hers.

"Look at me Shepard."

No response.

"Vicky. Look at me!"

Shepard's head rose. She was not used to being called by her first name. It was so personal, so intimate and rarely ever used.

"Now I am going to tell you these things I wanted to tell you on Illium. Now I am going to say everything that should have been said!"

Shepard's eyes grew wide, as if she was awakening from a stupor.

"Victoria Shepard, I love you. I love you more than life itself. I have loved you from the first moment I saw you. I loved you for your strength, I loved you in your weakness. I loved you in your finest moments and I loved you in your defeats. I love you now, more than anything in this whole damn Galaxy. I wished for so long I had died with you on the Normandy, that I had never let you go after Joker alone. I wish I had been there to push you into the escape pod, or at least spare you the agony of being alone and in pain for your final moments. Your face is in my every waking moment, my every dream, my every vision. I can never stop loving you, I will never stop loving you."

Shepard was breathing heavily now. Her chest rising and falling as her heart beat faster and faster.

"I know I have changed, I have given much of myself in trying to bring you back. I went too far though, I lost myself in my hatreds and I forgot that love which had bound me to you. I am different Shepard. I can't change that. But if you can look at me…look at me the same way you did before…I…"  
Liara's voice began to tremble…

"I…well..maybe you can love me again. Maybe you can still see some of that woman you used to care about…"

There was a long pause. Only the sound of heavy breathing. Tears were rolling down both faces now. Liara still held Shepard's hands in hers. They sat there, staring at each other, seated on the floor of a Commander's Quarters.

"I see her now. I see that woman in front of me!" Shepard finally exclaimed. She threw herself at Liara, her head landing in the Asari's chest. It was a desperate act, as if she was trying to catch her before such a vision floated away.

"I love you too, Liara." Shepard sobbed, "I love you, Liara."

Liara held Shepard closely and tightly. Shepard's arms were around her neck, her body limp in their embrace.

"Shepard, I am never going to leave you again. I am never going to leave your side again, if you'll have me. No matter what happens in the coming days I am going to be with you through it all, do you understand?"

Liara put her hand on Shepard's face, wiping away a torrent of tears. She looked at her, helpless, vulnerable and sad. She touched her chin. She drew her face closer. Shepard looked up at her, eyes widened with hot, heavy breaths punctuating the silence.

She kissed her.

It was at first a light peck, almost as if someone were afraid of stepping on a trap, being careful and quiet. Then it became more desperate. It was as if both of them suddenly came alive, passion stirring in their very being, fire licking at their heels compelling them into one another. Shepard didn't resist. Neither of them wanted to be apart. When the moment finally broke they looked at each other, breathing hard and staring at one another.

Suddenly, in one swift motion Liara stood, lifting Shepard in her arms. The Commander's eyes grew wide, startled by the Asari's strength. Shepard found herself on her bed, Liara on top of her.

Liara acted as if she was in a frenzy, so much frustration, so many things words couldn't express now poured into her actions. She kissed Shepard, hot and desperate kisses that traced their way from her face down to her neck. Shepard was gasping, she couldn't believe how quickly this was happening. She didn't fight it, she didn't want to.

Liara pulled away from Shepard. Her eyes narrow, determined, she pulled at her own clothes and and her suit fell away. With the same dexterity she madly pulled away at Shepard's clothing. Soon nothing was between them. They were flesh and flesh.

Liara had grown more tender now. Her hands were roaming over Shepard's body, as if she was trying to take in every part of it into her senses. Shepard couldn't control herself as low moans escaped from her. Liara's kisses were venturing ever lower across the human's body. Suddenly, Shepard reached down and and held Liara's face up, towards hers. Liara paused, looking right at her.

"Liara… are you sure about this…do you really wan…"

Liara glided her body upwards, pressing herself against Shepard. Their faces were directly opposite each others'.

"Shepard, I have never been more sure of anything in my life." Liara said as she smiled.

Shepard's face cracked in her own smile.

"Commander, I think you will just need to lay back and relax."

Suddenly, Liara's eyes became black, her face lightened.

"I don't think you are going to get very much sleep tonight, though."

Shepard wrapped her arms around her lover as Liara explored every part of her body. She was certainly adept at this task, pursuing the expression of her passion with the same intensity as a musician lost in sounds being produced around them, hands dexterously playing their chosen instrument. Shepard closed her eyes. This couldn't be real, it was too perfect. She smiled and let herself go, giving of herself completely to this moment. Her breaths became shorter but deeper, her body felt as if it tingled with electricity, sending ripples that brought Shepard into a realm she had not been in so long.

She didn't mind letting some else take the lead. Not tonight.

"Embrace Eternity…"

Outside, four concerned friends still waited anxiously outside the Commander's Quarters.

Finally, Miranda could take no more.

"EDI, what is going on in there?!"

The blue, circular AI's avatar popped up.

"I cannot say. I have turned off my viewing apparatus."

"Why would you do that?!" Garrus said in a frustrated voice.

EDI was quiet for a bit.

"Commander Shepard and Liara are…"

"Are what?" Miranda asked.

"Retrieving data file. They are…well, you humans might refer to it as a 'birds and the bees' conversation"

Miranda's mouth turned into a smirk. She shook her head.

"Birds? Bees? What the does that mean?" Tali asked.

Miranda sighed, almost laughing.

"I think we need to give them time alone. I don't think they will be coming out for awhile. I think there is a gathering of the crew on the station. We shouldn't miss the social event of the hour."

Tali still was confused. She looked to Garrus.

Garrus wasn't a human, but he got the general idea of what was happening.

"Don't worry, Tali. They will both be fine, if a bit sore if they are anything like Turians."

Tali was still confused and shook her head.

"You and I can talk about it at the party, Tali!" Kelly said, throwing a seductive glance at her. She threw her arm around Tali's shoulders and they walked together, the Quarian still confused and Kelly focusing her attentions on a new object for her affections, a new experience to be had.

Miranda and Garrus both looked at each other, their faces registered something bordering on disgust.

"Ugh...just what we need now." Miranda's shook her head.

"Something is in the air. We need someone to fix the ducts in this place..." Garrus replied.

The elevator opened and they all departed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Epilogue: The Changing of the Leaves**

Much took place after the reunion of Liara and Victoria Shepard. A flurry of activity, missions, meetings and ultimately great battles. This tale is not about those things. This story was about two people. After the Reaper war came and went, the Galaxy saved, there was peace, at least for a time.

Liara had been true to her word, staying faithfully with her heart's desire, Shepard. After all was said and done, they finally had time for themselves. Liara was still a maiden though, and her desire to travel and know more could not be satiated. Shepard would follow her here and there, never complaining and always happy just to be at her side. Victoria had become a rock, stable and sure, that Liara had learned to rely on.

They saw much in their time together. The Quarian homeworld was restored, with Shepard and Liara even spending years with Tali helping to rebuild it. The beginnings of new Mass Relays were laid down and a new age of exploration dawned. All around the Galaxy was buzzing with renewed optimism, hope, and promise for great things.

Liara and Shepard found their romance growing deeper as time went on. Eventually, Liara took a step that caused many Asari some consternation by dropping "T'Soni" and taking Shepard as her family name. Yet, as time went on it became clear that, despite her cybernetics and medical advances, Shepard's life was reaching its end.

Before the waning of their time together, Liara and Shepard began a family. The Asari felt so greedy for Victoria's being that she would have had as many children as possible with Shepard, just to preserve part of the person she loved. In the end, they had three wonderful daughters. As much as the scientists would discount an Asari daughter having traits from their "fathers", she could not help to see much of her beloved in their children.

There was Irena, the curious one. Like her mother she was a scientist at heart and always wanted to explore "new lands". She loved when as a child Shepard would take her out on great hikes when they were on Earth. They would see mountains, rivers and "secret" places where Irena would plant a tattered, handmade flag, "claiming" the ground for great explorers everywhere. With new relays being built and old ones being reactivated, Irena could not resist the urge to explore the furthest fringes of the Galaxy and beyond. It had been over 100 years since Irena had left on a journey with her human bondmate, her goal to see "where it all began", the place where the first sparks of life took place in the Universe.

Talia was the soldier. She had a stern, but kind way about her, much like Shepard. In school, she always was the protector of the weak and seen as a leader in any groups and activities she took part in. Athletic, strong and surprisingly muscular for an Asari, she rose quickly in the military life and found her role eventually as a Justicar. In her own last days, Samara had taken time to mentor Talia, and as the circle of sentient races expanded, this offspring of the "hero of the Galaxy" would make her own name as someone who dispensed justice and maintained order.

Then there was Victoria, named after her "father". Originally, Shepard had wanted a different name, but Liara insisted. They said of Victoria that the young Asari lived as though "she had only the lifetime of a human to accomplish much". From a young age, she had showed great ambition and drive. When they lived on Earth, Liara had even grown frustrated with this fiery daughter, as she was constantly dwarfing even her mother's knowledge, especially of humankind. French, Latin, German, Ancient Greek, history, poetry, literature, the young Victoria absorbed it all. She even took to speaking in archaic human manner, very proper, refined and sounding like a noble of some bygone era. Eventually, when the Galaxy fell into turmoil again, she would, like her father before her, play a critical role in bringing order and stability through her leadership. Her story is for another time though, however glorious and resplendent in imperial grandeur that it was.

Shepard. She never lived to see the great things her daughters accomplished. Liara noticed when her companion began to slow down. Age was taking its toll even as Liara was just reaching her stride in her own lifetime. Near the end, Liara spent every moment by Shepard's side, their daughters regularly rotating in to visit as they adored their father. They had many offers from different organizations to "save" Shepard. One would have cloned her, rebuilt her just as Lazarus had done. Another would have given her a robotic body, to forever live as a sentient machine. In the end, the couple themselves decided it best to let Shepard's body go into a final rest. The one measure they did take was to let her memories, her consciousness, be uploaded into the extranet, itself having been reborn as a way for all sentient beings to share a collective mind like the Geth. Victoria Shepard would live in fragments, her spirit broken up into every living being that could receive a signal from the Milky Way. She would belong to everyone.

It was the hardest moment of her life watching Shepard leave her. Until the very end she held their minds linked together, her hands desperately holding on to her beloved, feeling as finally her love drifted into a void and realizing right when her consciousness contracted into nothing, only to expand and spread across a network that touched untold numbers of beings. Liara had never cried so much in her life, she was inconsolable. Her mourning would last over a century.

Yet, Liara had to move on. She continued her work, raised their daughters and sent them out to accomplish their goals, find their happiness. She took other lovers, eventually and reluctantly. A human woman, a Quarian female, and finally even another Asari in her later days. She never considered any of them a real bond mate though, none could ever take the place of her Shepard. In her heart, there would always be a secret and hidden place, impregnable, that would contain what she felt for her life's greatest romance. Even centuries after her companions passing, Liara would still, in the dark of night or when she was alone with her thoughts, feel an aching for her smell, her skin, her being…her Shepard…

The days would finally wind down for even Liara. The world all around her had changed. She had one last journey to make before she entered into her own final rest. Earth was where the physical remains of Shepard were laid. In some lonely monument, forgotten by most except historians and a few devotees, Liara would make her final pilgrimage. Up ancient stone steps and to the top of a temple-like structure, there was the figure of the love of her life. Like an ancient king, the coffin had a top shaped into the form of Shepard, its eyes empty and staring upwards. In her hands, she held a sword, upon her head was carved a wreath.

It was jarring really, to see this quiet place of reflection nestled among the massive spires of a megapolis, a city teeming with millions upon millions going about their business, most never aware of what Shepard had done for them as any who were alive in such days had long since passed on themselves. In the solitude of this place, Liara slowly climbed the steps that lay before her. On one arm was her daughter Talia, on the other was Victoria. Usually the latter daughter would wear extravagant clothing to symbolize her stature and position, but today she wore a thin, white robe and a simple tiara. Behind them walked Liara's Asari mate, who stood apart out of respect and behind her a procession of Guardsmen, dressed in black armor. They stopped, as the last few steps were the family's to take alone.

The wind was blowing that day, a cold winter afternoon. The sun was setting, its last rays seemingly highlighting the tomb before her, gently falling on the site of Shepard's final resting place. Liara approached, a veil covering her face and her own robe flapping in the wind. Pulling herself away from her daughters briefly, she ran her hands over the carved representation of the woman who had defined her life, saved the Galaxy. Her heart felt heavy, her eyes wet with tears that had not fallen in ages. She finally rested one hand on what was to be Shepard's face. The finest handiwork had been displayed on this monument, but it could not capture what Liara sought. She sought the feeling of flesh, warmth, not stone. She stood there, her daughters at her side. They themselves could little contain their sadness, who despite their youth when Shepard lived could never forget the remarkable parent she was, how she doted on them and poured her being into raising them up.

Liara did not know what to say. So much had changed. Nearly a thousand years of life, much of it spent without Shepard, yet none of it untouched by her. The aged Asari hoped she lived in a way that would make Victoria Shepard proud, one that would never bring dishonor to her name and would only serve as a fitting testament to what a beautiful person this human had been. She had been warned by others that loving too much, especially one whose race had such short lives would make her life a great tragedy. She had endured this, as bonding with Shepard was what she had always wanted, and though the scars of Shepard's passing would never heal, she bore such as a reminder of what was, not a burden.

They stayed at this place for some time. As the night finally claimed victory over the day, the procession moved on, Liara looking back one last time. She would never again return to this place alive, although her body would finally take its place beside Shepard's, as was always their intention. They would be together again, sleeping one final time by each other's sides.

The days had gone down. Liara would breathe her last, surrounded by loved ones, and she too would embrace the Eternity that lay before her. Her consciousness also would be given unto a greater collective, to offer the wisdom and insight of centuries of living. As she felt herself fragment and then flow into the rushing stream of billions of minds, as her body lay cold and empty, what was left of her, her individuality, felt something strange. While every other part of her being was flying into unknown directions, a single part of her, a single shimmering light one might say, felt what could only be described as warmth. Liara had no physical form anymore, but at this moment she felt someone join her, she felt something against her as if she was lying next to someone. Shepard. Some part of the human had been patiently waiting all these years! These fragments of being, indescribably small, were now were overflowing with something that could only be described as love. Across the Galaxy, countless numbers of minds were filled with comfort, with peace, and with the feeling that emptiness had been filled. Liara had found her Shepard again.

So long as there were atoms left of sentient life, so then would the two remain inseparable. Until all the stars had grown cold, planets barren, and black holes eventually swallowed all into nothingness, two lovers who had been distant would never again be apart.


End file.
